I used to be quite a pugnacious kid and it’s funny that though my brother Goutam was just two and a half years older than me I cannot remember having any serious fights with him as we grew up. My sibling fights were more with my youngest sister who is eight years older than me. In retrospect, I think the reason was that Goutam was a gentle and above all a gracious person, and when I used to get all het up losing to him in chess or carrom, I think he used to lose sometimes on purpose.
I believe I’ve led a charmed life (so far!) and one reason is that I think someone up there likes me, but the other reason is that I have had an elder brother like Goutam down here to take care of me. I remember when I was maybe seven or eight years old, we used to play gully cricket in our neighbourhood in Kolkata, and because we were perhaps the richest family in that middle class neighbourhood, we used to own all the cricket gear.. the bats and the stumps. I remember when I was given out on the first ball, I refused to relinquish my bat, and actually jabbed a friend with a stump when he tried to wrench it away from me. I can’t recall if there was any bleeding, but I could see what was coming and took flight into the safety of our house with all the kids chasing after me. While they stood outside waiting to clobber me when I got out, my brother was able to make peace with them and I was finally able to emerge unscathed.
There were so many times that Goutam was able to take care of me right up to college, but the one last time in college, he was unsuccessful. Goutam did his MBA from Bajaj and was a star pupil, and the pet of the Director, Doctor Basu. I suspect I may have got into Bajaj two years later partly because of Goutam, as a sibling with a good academic record could not be all bad, though I recall I didn’t speak much at the Group discussion, thinking it was beneath my dignity to shout and scream! Anyway, I didn’t think much of the MBA course and my performance was mediocre. My teachers felt that I had an attitude and should not be allowed to pass, and once again my brother stepped in and tried to convince Doc Basu that given that I had not actually failed in any subject, lack of participation and attitude should not be a reason for holding me back. Doc Basu told him that if it was not for the fact that I had initiated a group to play bridge in the adjacent room while the Head of the Marketing Department was taking his classes, he would have considered ! But that was the only time Goutam’s charm did not work for me, and in hindsight it was good, because I did learn a lesson that the world was not my oyster!
Our family was not religious, we did not have any Pooja room or even a picture of one of the Hindu Gods in our house but I think towards the end, Goutam had turned into ( or maybe he always was) a believer. Somehow I felt uncomfortable having any discussion on religion with him, as he seemed so confident of his beliefs, and he would refuse to be drawn into any debate. His motto was : each to his own, and towards the end : to LET GO.
I would like to end with this last predilection, because he was a very successful advertising professional, but in his later years, had completely moved out from the limelight. He used to tell me that he did not find any joy in attending all the advertising seminars and parties any more and everyone should LET GO after some time. But I know that his friends have not found it easy to let him go, and he will be in our hearts for ever.
